Family Encourager

We all are born and given our name by our parents. If we are lucky. Unless we are abandoned and named by our caretakers. Generally speaking, the people that love us the most in the universe, give us a moniker.  A majority of parents, have an inkling to what the new baby's name should be. A few, wait to see the baby, before making a final decision. Even less then those, will have a disagreement and the baby will remain "the baby" for a while.  In my culture, a boy may be named after his paternal grandfather and a girl may be named after her paternal grandmother. Thankfully, this custom is slowly dying off. My mother's generation had to put up with a child's name not of their choosing. As my mother tells it, she cried for several weeks after my brother was born and refused to call him by the name chosen for him by tradition.  In my marriage to be fair and accommodating, we agreed that my husband will name the first child and me the second. It took 8 ...

Mid life, middle age, the wrong side of forty, the in-between of youth and old age, over the hill, call it what you will, all sound gloomy and downtrodden. It sounds like the beginning of the end! This is the time in our life, were our off spring spring off (see what I did there), our careers if we have any seem unfulfilling, our marriages can be boring and tedious, our daily life a monotone colorless existence. I refuse to subsist like that! I am not sure how you feel about your age today! Blooming, flourishing, blossoming, improving, thriving, is how I would rather think of myself with the passing of time. Perspective is what it is all about. What you lose with youth, you gain with age. I know myself better, my values are clear, my beliefs are solid, my likes and dislikes obvious, my relationships real, my priorities set, and outside noise quietened. Life becomes a path of finding contentment were possible, minimize stress, survive sad times, push through hard moments, an...

Usually, January is a let down. The coldest month of the year in certain places, dark and miserable days, the festive season is over with all its merriment. I do not know many people that actually enjoy this month. I do! It is the month, that 17 years ago, I became a mother. It is by far one of my favorite months. It is the month, that one of my most beloved human beings was born. He brought me, immense joy at becoming a mother. But much more then that, he is just fun to be around. He makes me laugh, he makes me think, he reminds me of what is great about this world.  Being his mother has been easy and joyous. I have not ever felt the need to send him away or to run away. I have heard of various challenges to being a mother, with behavioral issues and tantrums in toddlers and teens. We have not faced it with our son, on either end. We have been blessed to have "the perfect baby", soon to be full fledged adult. That makes what comes next, totally heart wrenching. Th...

Good Bye 2018, we wish you adieu.  You have been a friend, a foe, a comfort, a joy, a pain, a fear, a stab in the dark, a stab in the back, a crutch, a delight, a forever after, a good bye, a dream, a nightmare, a lesson learned, a hope for the future, a bet, a wish, a survival, a journey. The end of a year, is for most, a time to say farewell to the old and accept the new. Parties abound and midnight is rung down, like there won't be another midnight in 24 hours again. We don party hats and blow on noise makers and welcome a new year with promise. We make resolutions, and promises to ourselves and others. We have hope in our hearts and strength of will to change or accept. We hold ourselves accountable to fulfill shelved dreams and vows made. We welcome a new year, as a way to turn the page and forge a fresh chapter. We look forward, always forward! This year, I intend to look back. I intend to reflect and question the year that was. I plan to dissect...

There must be a conspiracy against me. As I get older and less judgmental. Less black and white and more shades of grey (not that shades of grey). I seem to stumble on issues that bother me, that I had not given a whole load of thought to. It tests my "be and let be" motto on life. As I am living what I think is a zen existence, allowing less to irk me. I discover that I am hugely discontent with certain aspects of modern society. You, the reader, will now point out to me, that I am older, and therein lies my answer. I will reply, not true! I am not quite sure how to write this blog entry, without offending my readers. There are topics that are slightly taboo. This one rather then being taboo, is more a freedom of expression debate. In this space, its my freedom.  Let me dictionary define "freedom of expression";  According to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights,  freedom of expression  is the right of every individual to hold o...

Okay so beast might a bit too much, but I wanted a blog title that makes a point.  Beauty vs. ugliness, attractive vs. repulsive, handsome vs. plain, gorgeous vs. drab, all may be a better choice! The thinking behind it is; if you were born lucky in the looks department, are you guaranteed a better life then your average looking human? This post, as with all my previous posts, are personal opinions and observations, infused with scientific studies when necessary. Keep that in mind as you enjoy this! Whenever I sit down to write, my inspiration, is mostly my life. As a writer "wanna be", I am always observing situations and people for possible writing material at a later date. I have always had a love of humanity and studying what makes us tick, why some of us are the way we are. I have always loved reading psychology articles and related books. I find human interactions are the greatest adventure. I question why someone reacts as they do, and what could hav...

The other day, as I sat reflecting on my life, which I seem to do every year around the time the new school year begins. In other words, September! I thought about all I wanted to do and be when I was 16 (my son's age now). I thought back to all the day dreaming I did, and all the ideas I had. I did a mini audit in my head. How many of these dreams became a reality? How many I am glad never did? How many I still hold in my heart as a "maybe one day"? On most days, I am content with my lot in life, never looking back in regret, nor wishing I was somewhere else doing something else. Now that my children are older, and I feel I have time to pursue my own interests and discover new hobbies. I occasionally wonder what more I could have done and been.  Do we all fall into our lives? Do we determinedly stride forward knowing exactly what we want and seek it? Do we start out in one direction and end up somewhere else? Even better then we envisioned? How many people do ...