Public Spaces vs. Private Places

There must be a conspiracy against me. As I get older and less judgmental. Less black and white and more shades of grey (not that shades of grey). I seem to stumble on issues that bother me, that I had not given a whole load of thought to. It tests my "be and let be" motto on life. As I am living what I think is a zen existence, allowing less to irk me. I discover that I am hugely discontent with certain aspects of modern society. You, the reader, will now point out to me, that I am older, and therein lies my answer.

I will reply, not true!

I am not quite sure how to write this blog entry, without offending my readers. There are topics that are slightly taboo. This one rather then being taboo, is more a freedom of expression debate. In this space, its my freedom. 

Let me dictionary define "freedom of expression"; According to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, freedom of expression is the right of every individual to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive, and impart information and ideas, through any media and regardless of frontiers.

On a daily basis we confront the dress codes of life. My children have a uniform and regulations on hair, make-up, jewelry etc.. My husband at the office, has certain criteria for his dress code. When invited to an event, a few have distinctive dress codes, black tie, smart casual and the list goes on. We tend to adhere to these dress codes once stated and required of us. We may agree or disagree, but generally follow the dress code.

As the decades have gone by, the dress code of daily life has gone from pill boxes and gloves in public to being taped as an item of clothing. Black tape project, uses plain packing tape to make an outfit for women. Dare I say more?

Progress and change is a beautiful thing! I do not want to wear petty coats and corsets! I truly do not want a half day to get dressed in all the appropriate clothing, with the help of an assistant. On the other side of that coin, I do not want to go out in my pajamas to the supermarket either!

When did a pair of jeans and a nice shirt become uncomfortable? When did a nice pair of shorts with a button and a zipper and a matching top become too fancy to drop off the kids to school? When did shaving or combing your hair before leaving the house become a chore?

The truth of the matter is, what you wear in the privacy of your own home should not be worn in a public domain. Just like we respect rules and manners, in terms of spitting in public or picking our nose at a restaurant with other diners around, we need to have some responsibility towards others in a public domain in the way we dress.

If you can follow a dress code restricting you in most places, why is it that in our daily life we feel we can wear anything at anytime out and about. I have certain issues with the "disheveled" look. Forgive me if I am in any way stepping on anyone's toes in this next bit (excuse the pun), but I will tell you the little incident that triggered this blog.

As I was sitting at the bank one day, waiting for a super long time for my number to be called. Many a customer sat next to me on a bench, one such gentlemen looked like he had slept in his clothes and had not had any personal grooming all week. Fine, I can stop here, and reply to all of you in regard to me being judgmental and disparaging etc. But wait I have not finished my story! The whole "look" he had going on was not my main concern, the one thing that pushed me over the edge, was what he was wearing on his feet. And to be fair, that did not bother me, as much as, the sight of his feet. They had terrible looking calluses and nails and rough skin, and just completely unsightly. I am terribly sorry, but with something like that why can he not wear closed shoes? I may have a problem with ugly looking feet, I will admit that.

My point being, why is it alright in this era, to remove all rules to how we dress in public? Or how we dress for events or occasions?  

I, still in the back of my mind, judge people on appearance. I am only human. A person of authority that is dressed in yoga pants and flip flops, will not make me confident in their ability. A salesman dressed in yesterdays pajama, will not induce in me a feeling of trust. A mom at the school gates dressed in her crumpled t-shirt and bedhead, will not make me want to jump in for a chat. But that is just me!

I have taught my children that beach wear is for the beach, the school dress code is there for a reason, going to a funeral entails wearing somber clothing unless requested otherwise, weddings are a great time to dress it up, pajamas are to go to bed in, and going to church means appropriately covered up clothing. That we have common decency obligations towards others in public places. 

Public decency laws state "Public decency is a level of behavior which is generally acceptable to the public and is not obscene, disgusting or shocking for the observers. Outraging public decency is an indictable common law offence which is punishable by unlimited imprisonment and/or an unlimited fine". Why can't we have laws in how to dress in public? If I am expected to have certain decorum and manners in public, why isn't dress one of them? Smoking, defecating, gum throwing, alcohol consumption in public, all have laws and rules. 

I am the first person to say, that laws that eliminate personal freedoms should not be allowed. I am the first person to say, that laws that limit how I live my personal life should be objected to and challenged. I am the first person to be an advocate for "live and let live". But seriously, I cannot take the unkempt, scruffy, slovenly, bedraggled path society is taking. Combing your hair, ironing your shirt, matching your clothes, putting your best public face forward is not that difficult! 

Here is what I have learned: I, personally, enjoy clothes and dressing relatively well put together for a rushed stay-at-home mom. If you look good, you feel good, and I enjoy feeling good. The way the world sees a person that makes some effort in their appearance, is totally different to someone that just seems to have given up. Public spaces requires that you have common obligation towards others. Keep the shabby look for private places!