Middle of the Road and All That....

Mid life, middle age, the wrong side of forty, the in-between of youth and old age, over the hill, call it what you will, all sound gloomy and downtrodden. It sounds like the beginning of the end!

This is the time in our life, were our off spring spring off (see what I did there), our careers if we have any seem unfulfilling, our marriages can be boring and tedious, our daily life a monotone colorless existence. I refuse to subsist like that!

I am not sure how you feel about your age today! Blooming, flourishing, blossoming, improving, thriving, is how I would rather think of myself with the passing of time. Perspective is what it is all about. What you lose with youth, you gain with age.

I know myself better, my values are clear, my beliefs are solid, my likes and dislikes obvious, my relationships real, my priorities set, and outside noise quietened. Life becomes a path of finding contentment were possible, minimize stress, survive sad times, push through hard moments, and make the best of what life has to offer today.

I cannot think of a time I hid my age, except maybe as a teenager, to make myself older to get into certain places.. ahem, ahem! I have always been proud of getting older, the alternative would be a tragedy. As the years have driven by, I have found more pleasure in adulthood and not less.

Hiding behind the panic of letting go of my eldest, the fear of the unknown into the next phase of my journey, the self analysis that seems to crop up every once in a while, is a wiser more tolerant and less judgmental me. I am kinder to myself and accepting of my flaws (and there are plenty). 

In other words, my mental outlook on "blooming", is sound and positive. I will not discuss economic well being on here, we are at a phase of our life were spending far surpasses saving! I will keep it at that. The one thing that does not feel well as I am approaching the 5th decade of my life (I cannot believe I just typed that!), is my body!

Where do I start on my long litany of complaints? 

The one thing on top of my list, is my eye sight! I have never, I repeat, never worn glasses in my life! Suddenly, I am as farsighted as you can get. It is a pain to do any reading, especially when in a hurry with no glasses around. 

As for the mysterious aches and pains, that appear one day and are gone the next, and new ones take their place. Waking up in the morning, there are days when I wonder if I aged 30 years overnight.

The tears that come unchecked, sometimes by watching a TV ad. 

The brain divide, the empty spaces in my memory, the extended pause when I am trying to verbalize a sentence.

Let us not forget, the fat, the fat rolls that follow me everywhere. I seem to gain a kilo a day now.

I will pretend, that sagging parts and swollen bits, are not worthy of this blog.

The piece de resistance has to be the eruption of heat one moment and the chills to follow.

The sad truth is, my body has let me down, miserably. 

Here is what I have learned: The teenager in me is well and alive. The love of life endures, the discoverer awake, the adventurer present, the hopeful dreamer aware, the positive forward mover zipping along. With all best intentions to continue at the speed of light, as I have always been, is no longer an option. My body is begging me to slow down, is pleading for me to treat it better, is reminding me that as I continue to thrive mentally, it is just fine to change tack and live a more measured life. Slower yes, less enriched and fulfilling, never!