Contest, Challenge, or Kind of Accept

In view of what has happened in the world the last two days, challenge may be a good topic to  touch on. I will not go into the huge subject of the craziness of our cosmos, I will touch on challenging an idea in partnerships.

I was at a ladies event the other night, and the topic of husbands came up (doesn't it always eventually). The ladies at this event came from varied backgrounds, nationalities, ethnicity, and age groups, the one underlying thread was the anger at partners. When you are so frustrated you do not know where to go from there.

You have been married for too long to count and you are still having the same discussion. Every few months this same topic comes up and no resolution is ever reached. You have a huge fall out over it or one of you eventually agrees to disagree (until the next time). My husband always accuses me of bringing up the past, and I agree, I do. There are certain matters that I can never seem to get over, and whenever I am having a bad day with my partner those inevitably come back to haunt us.

I hear from friends that have been married for far longer then me (yes there are those too), that they have that one elephant in the room type of dispute, the one ongoing endless dialogue. Frequently, the theme seems to be finances or family, the two F's.

In my life, its family and how to raise our children specifically. Having grown up in different countries, the male/female dynamic, or the fact that one of us is the eldest in their family and the other the youngest makes our views on that subject at times poles apart. In the day to day life in our house, we both try hard to meet half way, do we succeed, not very often. Does it make for a confusing episode at home? Sure does.

It sometimes feels like we challenge each other on every parenting area possible, which is truly not the case. What I contest to and is very adamant on is that a child should always come to their parent first, if they are in trouble or need extra reassurance. My husband's big parenting area to contest and  challenge me on , is our childrens education. 

I have kind of accepted that education is a biggy for him and try hard to work towards his very high expectations, unless their is something more fun to do!! We would rather watch a football match or play a board game and some days we do just that and tell dad to just relax!

Here is what I have learned: If the challenging topic in your household is the two F's or anything else, you need to either challenge your partners ideology and change their mind set. Or you need to kind of accept that this is how it is and hope for the best. 

Oh, and time the "disputes"far apart and not in front of the kids!!