Teenager in the House




My eldest celebrated his 14th birthday this week. I thought he became a teen last year, but my friends who have older children informed me nicely that this is the year of change. 

A time when your teen will metamorphose into a semi adult, into a mini man, into a facial hair growing, tall big foot, with a strange voice.  I have been warned, he will separate himself from the family unit, become a loner in the home, grunt one word answers to your questions, and generally become unrecognizable. Gone will be the sweet needy boy, well, he will still be needy, needing plenty of feeding from what I hear.

As for us, at this juncture, my 14 year old is still a sweet loving child who actually enjoys hanging out with us and his 5 year old sister (that is when his social life is not calling or his social media is not pinging).  He still asks me for "mom and me" time, asks for my opinion on stuff, and gives me the daily football update from around the world. He still is hard working at school and does not buck the rules too much.

I can see the transition looming on the horizon, this year he said he did not want an elaborate birthday party with numerous invitees. He said all that counts is the great friends that will remain in his life (mature thought for a teen). He invited his 5 besties for a sleepover and multi activity day. They joked, laughed, reminisced (he has known them for 6 years that is a lifetime for him), teased each other, and did what boys their age do. 

It was an absolute pleasure for me, watching these fine young humans transforming into young adults. I can envision what and who they will become. I was so impressed by their loyal friendship, their genuine affection for each other, by the way they interacted in a fun and thoughtful manner, how they just plainly enjoyed being collectively together. May it remain that way, and a huge benefit is, I have all their moms on my speed dial.

Being a mother, you are always a step away from panic. Your ever evolving goal is maintaining your offspring healthy and setting them up to be successful adults.  I am still a long way from achieving this, though this birthday celebration gave me hope that I am on the correct path.

Here is what I have learned: I do not know very much about having a teenager in the house. Here is what I do know, start early to build values, communicate often with your child at any age, give them love, security, and enough discipline to realize right from wrong. After all is said and done, hope for the best.

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