New Decade, New Resolutions?
I remember when we had the anticipation of the year 2000, everyone thought the world would stop. Computers would fail and our whole world as we know it would collapse. We waited anxiously for the clock to strike midnight with abated breath, and nothing happened. That was the year I had gotten married and a new life journey had begun.
Fast forward 20 years later, 20!!! We at least know that as the clock strikes midnight later today the world will not fall into tech chaos and we will not wake up to an earth that has changed forever. As for me, I have been reflecting on the past 10 years and what has changed or remained the same in my own life. How has my outlook on life in general changed, what priorities shifted, and how I would like to handle my world moving forward into the 5th decade of my own existence or is it 6th?
What do you call the years from 2010 to 2019? Cannot find a credible name that held. If you know any, please share with me!
Anyway, this decade brought beauty and pain to my life. It expanded my horizons and limited my pathways, it showed me great joy and immense sadness, it made me question who I was as a human in the large context of the world.
The decade started with a bang for me, I turned 40 (how long ago that was), and I found out I was having a much wanted baby. Our beautiful feisty, crazy, lovable daughter was born later that year. She changed our family dynamic forever. She was the searched for link in completing our family. She was the noise to her brother's peace, she was the drama to her brother's relaxed demeanor, she was the super hyper action to her brother's cool inaction. They are the perfect match, and even with 8 years separating them they found a way to be close siblings who look after each other.
As the decade progressed and my dear mom was diagnosed with a terminal illness, that robbed her even of her voice, the mixed emotions of having total bliss with a new baby and the fear and panic of losing my mother slowly, was a whole new uncharted territory. I did not have the tools to process the agony that came when my mom passed on a few years ago. The person that gave me life and defined who I would become, no longer existed. The motherless daughter, should be a syndrome all of its own. It is a long trip back to yourself from that loss, and you are never who you thought you were.
This decade made my eldest child into an independent man, who is about to sprout his own wings and fly the coop. He entered middle school and is now nearly graduating high school. From a short small boy he has blossomed into a tall mature young man that leads his own life, still tenaciously attached to ours. In a few months, the family dynamic will change once again, and we all will have to learn to live without him for a big part of the year.
Having taken a long break from my career to raise my children, this decade taught me that I did not want that career any longer, it does not suit the priorities I have set for myself and my family. I have learned to adapt my skills to be used differently and have re-trained to have competencies that are easily translatable and can move across borders. I have understood that I will never be a company CEO or that hotel director I once had aimed for, but yet, I can use my talents and experience to dip in and out of the work force. I came to terms with the fact that a full time job may not be what I need or want for now. I am still a work in progress as this point.
This blog came out this decade, from a need to have my written word and thoughts shared with the world. Writing is a passion, that I have forever had and I may never become a successful author, but it still gives me a great sense of fulfillment. Sitting down to write always feels just right.
I have lost friends this decade in tragic circumstances and very suddenly, all too young to go. It has given me a new perspective on life, that your health is your wealth. That the stress of everyday life should be managed and that very little is worth stewing over. That little slights, what people think of me, the impolite sales person, the nasty mom at the school gate, the overwhelming daily grind, can all be dealt with, if I change my attitude towards it all. It is me that reacts to the outside world rather then the other way around. I am at an age where "I do not really care" attitude comes in handy, and "I will say my mind politely and briefly" makes me feel very happy on the inside.
The 2010 to 2019 decade, has made me realize that my outward appearance will drastically change in the next decade. That most of my body will not be recognizable, but if it's still a well oiled machine that allows me to live my life to the fullest, then boy how lucky am I. After all, when the next decade rolls around I will be this close to becoming a senior citizen.
Here is what I have learned: The lessons to conclude my decade with are: Kindness to others is kindness to yourself, it makes me feel better when my underlying manner is laced with kindness. Being grateful for all I have rather then constantly harping on what I do not have, brings me great contentment. That living without my own mother, makes me want to be an even better one to my own children. That having my father in my life when I am nearly 50 is a golden gift to be cherished. That true friendship is priceless and I should maintain those friends forever. That being productive with or without a salary, is always necessary and to continue learning while I am still capable. Oh and resolutions are for someone else, I will just continue to live the best way I can.
What are your lessons of this decade?
As the decade progressed and my dear mom was diagnosed with a terminal illness, that robbed her even of her voice, the mixed emotions of having total bliss with a new baby and the fear and panic of losing my mother slowly, was a whole new uncharted territory. I did not have the tools to process the agony that came when my mom passed on a few years ago. The person that gave me life and defined who I would become, no longer existed. The motherless daughter, should be a syndrome all of its own. It is a long trip back to yourself from that loss, and you are never who you thought you were.
This decade made my eldest child into an independent man, who is about to sprout his own wings and fly the coop. He entered middle school and is now nearly graduating high school. From a short small boy he has blossomed into a tall mature young man that leads his own life, still tenaciously attached to ours. In a few months, the family dynamic will change once again, and we all will have to learn to live without him for a big part of the year.
Having taken a long break from my career to raise my children, this decade taught me that I did not want that career any longer, it does not suit the priorities I have set for myself and my family. I have learned to adapt my skills to be used differently and have re-trained to have competencies that are easily translatable and can move across borders. I have understood that I will never be a company CEO or that hotel director I once had aimed for, but yet, I can use my talents and experience to dip in and out of the work force. I came to terms with the fact that a full time job may not be what I need or want for now. I am still a work in progress as this point.
This blog came out this decade, from a need to have my written word and thoughts shared with the world. Writing is a passion, that I have forever had and I may never become a successful author, but it still gives me a great sense of fulfillment. Sitting down to write always feels just right.
I have lost friends this decade in tragic circumstances and very suddenly, all too young to go. It has given me a new perspective on life, that your health is your wealth. That the stress of everyday life should be managed and that very little is worth stewing over. That little slights, what people think of me, the impolite sales person, the nasty mom at the school gate, the overwhelming daily grind, can all be dealt with, if I change my attitude towards it all. It is me that reacts to the outside world rather then the other way around. I am at an age where "I do not really care" attitude comes in handy, and "I will say my mind politely and briefly" makes me feel very happy on the inside.
The 2010 to 2019 decade, has made me realize that my outward appearance will drastically change in the next decade. That most of my body will not be recognizable, but if it's still a well oiled machine that allows me to live my life to the fullest, then boy how lucky am I. After all, when the next decade rolls around I will be this close to becoming a senior citizen.
Here is what I have learned: The lessons to conclude my decade with are: Kindness to others is kindness to yourself, it makes me feel better when my underlying manner is laced with kindness. Being grateful for all I have rather then constantly harping on what I do not have, brings me great contentment. That living without my own mother, makes me want to be an even better one to my own children. That having my father in my life when I am nearly 50 is a golden gift to be cherished. That true friendship is priceless and I should maintain those friends forever. That being productive with or without a salary, is always necessary and to continue learning while I am still capable. Oh and resolutions are for someone else, I will just continue to live the best way I can.
What are your lessons of this decade?
The lesson of the decade for me is the only valuable lesson which my Dad tried to leave with me: fix your own home before you can fix the world. He was trying to teach me a lesson on success as I am leaving my home. We need to instill in our kids that true success, as they leave the house, only comes form true relationships within and outside their future families.
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