Why Do We Do It?

I have volunteered in my children's life as far as I can remember. I have been the mom that bakes for the bake sale or party, the mom that reads to the kids and with the kids, the mom that organizes Christmas and Easter celebrations, the mom that brings new ideas to the school and makes them happen, the mom that helps the teacher when needed, the mom that wants to be involved in her kids lives and be around their school.

Volunteering as the word denotes, is something you do for free and because you really really want to. It is something you are willing to give to the community for the love of the act. We all have our reasons for wanting to give our time and effort. We want to be part of a community, we want to give back, we want to make a difference. I do it because it allows me a glimpse of what my children do at school and it gives me the satisfaction of doing that within my comfort zone.

I love watching the kids interaction and seeing how they blossom through the various activities. It brings a smile to my face just being around so much innocence and a sense of fun. I have always loved being around young ones, I started to babysit at the age of 11, I got credits for helping in the KG classes in high school, I loved taking my little nieces places. Now that I am a mom, I even enjoy being a volunteer in the high school. I derive a sense of purpose from starting new initiatives and effecting change of some sort.

Volunteering can on many occasions be more demanding then a full time job. The amount of work that needs to be done is endless, the lack of pay makes you an easy target for abuse, and there is always someone complaining about what you have or have not done.

As I said I have been doing this for a long time, my son graduates high school this year, add the years and you get the length of time I have been putting my heart and soul out there trying to make a difference, even in a tiny way. I have to admit on most days I enjoy the camaraderie with the other volunteers, I have made friends along the way, and been pleasantly surprised at the minimal negativity.

The things that can make me turn purple in anger, is the parent that never volunteers but yet has an opinion on all I do. I have issue with the parent who wants to control every aspect of their child's life including what they do or not in the classroom, for example the mom that makes sure the rest of the class cannot have fun, as her child is not allowed this or that. I become a she-devil when a mom refuses to participate in any activity in the classroom but makes sure to complain about what is being done by the other moms.

School for us adults is a bit of a minefield, just as if we are back in high school ourselves. The bully, the passive aggressive kid, the kid that is angry and upset all the time, the kid that hates school, the popular group, the ones that have no clue. I tend to maneuver around this minefield quite deftly until the days that I realize I do not want to anymore.

Hey mom or dad, if you have problem with the cake being served at a celebration in class, step up and bring the alternative, you do not like the way I read with your child, show up and be a reading parent, you find the way I organized the teacher's gift at the end of the year not to your liking be polite about it and appreciate the messages sent, the consensus asked for and the many trips to the mall to get just the right thing, if you are cheap and do not want to contribute a penny to thanking the person that looks after your child 5 days a week for 7 hours then do it silently and discreetly, we do not need to hear how the teacher already receives a salary.

Hey school management, I am a volunteer, I do not get paid a penny by you, I do not ask much of you in return for the hours I spend at your school, I do not demand better pay or better standard in my working environment, all I ask is for you to work with me, to see the vast benefits of having a whole contingent of people helping out, leading and guiding the school in a direction that benefits our children, how can I be on my own personal agenda when I have entrusted you with my most precious possession? It is time schools give parent volunteers the recognition and respect they have rightly earned.


Here is what I have learned: To be a volunteer you have to have thick skin, you need to really really want to in order to last for a length of time, you need to be a diplomat and at times a policeman, you need to have a minor degree in psychology to figure out what all the stakeholders need from you, you need to be a positive person and ignore the moaners and the naggers. You want to volunteer do it for you and not for the fame or glory. Do it to teach your child civic duty and do it to remind them that being a volunteer is a noble thing.