What Do I Tell My Daughter? What Do You?

August is my baby girl's birthday month. She has always been a feisty determined little girl. With each passing year, she has become more focused and less scattered. She is still feisty (may that never change) and she knows what she wants.

From day one that she magically appeared in our life (isn't every child's birth magical?).I knew that she would bring some star dust to our home. She has the capacity to make any situation more entertaining and add a touch of her own personality to almost anything. She has a beautiful heart and a wise old soul. I am amazed at how this little girl understands the subtlety's of human emotions. She feels others loneliness, she understands pain, she grasps feelings, she can read people way better then I ever did, at even a much older age.

We watch animated movies, she cries intensely, even in the happy scenes. In the Grinch that Stole Christmas she could not stop crying, she acknowledged the Grinch rejection and exclusion. In Toy Story, she knew what the passage of time meant for those toys and how they will become discarded. This is only in the land of pretend, you can just imagine how she is in every day life.

This tenderness and sensitivity to the human kind, makes me proud of her. Yet, it brings fear to my heart. The world today is neither gentle nor nurturing. If you are to believe all you hear and see on social media, it is actually quite a shallow and evil society we exist in. 

Everyday, there is a new story in the news about a person barely out of childhood that has caused immeasurable damage to another. The bullying in schools is at an all time high. The isolation of children in their own classes by other children is at a record number. The gangs of the "in" crowd ruling the school yard is out of control. Cyber bullying in the form of rumors and lies is at a peak. And that is only by sending your daughter to school, a place meant to be safe and secure.

Suicide, drug use, self harm is all on the rise. The numbers seem to indicate that girls are crueler to girls, that may be simply because boys do not open up as much as girls. Ruthless is a word bandied around quite a bit when it comes to girls bullying girls. They seem to be merciless in hurting others feelings without it registering with them at all. Studies indicate that, boys bully physically or directly, while girls bully indirectly and less visibly. 

• Based on the 2017 National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS), students ages 12 to 18 experienced 827,000 total victimizations (i.e., theft and nonfatal violent victimization) at school and 503,800 total victimizations away from school.

Reality TV shows, social media stars, Youtubers, and the list goes on, all portray young women in a less then stellar manner. A Girls Scouts study has shown that 86% of the girls surveyed have said that reality TV shows pit girls against each other, and that these shows give the message that it is OK to treat others badly.


A multitude of studies have shown that social media is far worse for the mental health of teenage girls then boys. Medical studies repeatedly have found that young adult females that spend hours on social media are at a higher risk of depression. The jury is still out on why this is? What causes a higher risk of depression in girls and the use of social media we do not know yet, but it has been recorded and noted.

That is the today my little girl is growing up in.

Besides all the things she will have to go through physically and emotionally to become a woman. She has the added pressures of the technology filled world we live in, with its abundance of free media that shows women not always in the best moral or honorable light. 

The media today is far more skewed to easy success then to hard work to achieve your goals. The prevalence of shows that present women as objects of falseness and deceit far out way shows that present strong and genuine women. I rarely see any media coverage about high achieving young women athletes, scientists, technology whizzes, doctors, diplomats, lawyers. The female role model of today is plastic, crude, vulgar, indecent, unethical, anything goes to gain wealth and status.

Here is what I have learned: Very little on this subject for now. I pose my questions to you my reader. 

What do I tell my daughter? What do you tell your daughter? How do I explain to her right from wrong? How do I raise her strong enough to face a society like that while she carries our values with her? How do I make her value substance over triviality? How do I show her that a woman is in her character rather then her physical appearance? What do I tell my daughter about her being able to be anything she wants to be? To dream big and make her life a worthwhile existence? That a role model is someone that stands for something, that fights for the underdog, that has talent and drive? Tell me, what do you tell your daughter?