SAHM Versus Working Mom
I entered into a competition I did not know existed. I became a mom and I became a stay at home mom (I really don't know what that means, I am rarely at home, I run in and out all day).
Anyway, back to the topic at hand, that competition I mentioned, I was not aware there was a competition between moms that stay home to raise their children and moms that raise their children while holding down a career. I discovered early on that mommy wars are very real and can get nasty.
All moms are working moms aren't they? I have not met many moms that raise a family without putting in the hours. There is always a perception that a mom with a career is not available, not attentive, not involved, or not hands on. That is not true, I have come across career moms who make it to the school concert, are always there for their kids, who know what is going on at school, who remember celebrations, and school work, and make sure that everyday they participate in their children's life.
SAHM (stay at home mom) get the short end of the stick as well. They are perceived as helicopter moms constantly hovering over their off spring, that they are controlling every aspect of their child's life, that they are relaxing on a beach all day, that they get time to themselves often, that they are free for lunch dates and manicures. As I am one, I can tell you the truth could not be further then this perceived reality.
All motherhood choices are complicated, to continue your career while you have an infant is heart wrenching and guilt ridden. To stop your vocation and to limit your life to babies and home, is likewise heart wrenching and guilt ridden. Who is right and who is wrong? It is the age old unanswered question.
The so called working mom will remain juggling a myriad of balls for countless years, being torn between job and home. The so called SAHM will forever remain wondering if she has achieved her goals in life and what is she truly accomplishing.
It all comes down to economics, family dynamics, psychological and emotional approach, lifestyle, and support. We all have a path to follow that is right for our family and our life. That path may be completely wrong for someone else.
Who raises the exceptional child then? Who does win the competition then, you may ask? Being a SAHM or working mom makes absolutely no difference when all is said and done. What may make a difference is the type of mom you are. I have read recently that there are 5 types of moms: Perfectionist, Unpredictable, Best friend, Me-First, or Complete. You can play a guessing game to how each mom type maneuvers motherhood. How each mom type impacts her children.
Here is what I have learned: The SAHM vs. Working mom war continues and is battled daily at the front lines of motherhood. The injured and maimed cannot be counted or seen. The numbers cannot be tallied. The conversations and debates endure and remain unexplained. I live with a choice I made that makes me content and that makes my family flourish. Am I continuously satisfied with this choice? Of course not, do I have any regrets? I am a person that does not regret but rather learn from journeys not explored. For now, I stay a SAHM who dabbles in part time projects and writes this blog.
All moms are working moms aren't they? I have not met many moms that raise a family without putting in the hours. There is always a perception that a mom with a career is not available, not attentive, not involved, or not hands on. That is not true, I have come across career moms who make it to the school concert, are always there for their kids, who know what is going on at school, who remember celebrations, and school work, and make sure that everyday they participate in their children's life.
SAHM (stay at home mom) get the short end of the stick as well. They are perceived as helicopter moms constantly hovering over their off spring, that they are controlling every aspect of their child's life, that they are relaxing on a beach all day, that they get time to themselves often, that they are free for lunch dates and manicures. As I am one, I can tell you the truth could not be further then this perceived reality.
All motherhood choices are complicated, to continue your career while you have an infant is heart wrenching and guilt ridden. To stop your vocation and to limit your life to babies and home, is likewise heart wrenching and guilt ridden. Who is right and who is wrong? It is the age old unanswered question.
The so called working mom will remain juggling a myriad of balls for countless years, being torn between job and home. The so called SAHM will forever remain wondering if she has achieved her goals in life and what is she truly accomplishing.
It all comes down to economics, family dynamics, psychological and emotional approach, lifestyle, and support. We all have a path to follow that is right for our family and our life. That path may be completely wrong for someone else.
Who raises the exceptional child then? Who does win the competition then, you may ask? Being a SAHM or working mom makes absolutely no difference when all is said and done. What may make a difference is the type of mom you are. I have read recently that there are 5 types of moms: Perfectionist, Unpredictable, Best friend, Me-First, or Complete. You can play a guessing game to how each mom type maneuvers motherhood. How each mom type impacts her children.
Here is what I have learned: The SAHM vs. Working mom war continues and is battled daily at the front lines of motherhood. The injured and maimed cannot be counted or seen. The numbers cannot be tallied. The conversations and debates endure and remain unexplained. I live with a choice I made that makes me content and that makes my family flourish. Am I continuously satisfied with this choice? Of course not, do I have any regrets? I am a person that does not regret but rather learn from journeys not explored. For now, I stay a SAHM who dabbles in part time projects and writes this blog.
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