Family Encourager

So here you are married, settled into your new happily ever after bliss. You met the parents and liked them, you met the siblings and liked them too! You sigh a sigh of relief, first test of marriage passed. Maybe not! Now its time to meet the others part two. The "sub clan", and the one you will probably hang out with much more then "the clan". As I mentioned before, we are an expatriate couple not living in our home town. We dip in and out of there as often as we can, and meet up with old and dear friends as often as we can, there or anywhere else we happen to find them. Both my partner and I have maintained friendships since elementary school, we have a long shared history with these beautiful people. How do you merge that with your new love and life? What happens if you meet his friend and hate him? What if you meet his friend's wife and you can't stand her? What then?  I have met the friend who it took me a while to figure out, I met th...

Marriage, for many is the opportunity to redeem themselves in a relationship. To prove to the world and themselves, that they are worthy of love, partnership, and true commitment.  We all bring huge hopes and dreams into our marital home. We bring all the romance of novels, all the wishes of a lifetime, all the faith that this will last forever, all the promise of this one bond fulfilling all our emotional needs. Marriage has to begin with all of the above, or what chance does it have to survive? If this is not your grandest love of all, your path to ultimate happiness, your key to all things joyful, why get married at all? The above describes how my husband and I began our journey together. We believed in the ultimate fairytale.  That was before, job loss, parent illnesses, infertility, country relocation, home moves, and children. Like I said, the wedding is probably one of the last times your marriage is about you and him.  Many years later, we are still married and...

I guess the story has to begin at the beginning! If you are talking about families, the first step is, girl meets boy, girls falls in love with boy, well you get where this is going. After a few years of friendship and then a relationship, we did the big wedding and the bigger honeymoon!  Surprise, surprise, we managed to organize a wedding and agree on the color scheme, venue, guest lists, menu, and so much more with full agreement. How did that happen?  You may ask, has that happened again since? You will have to wait for that answer. You begin your life with the one true love of your life, thinking you are both invincible, that together anything is possible.  The fairytale has begun, how can the prince and princess not live happily ever after? That is what you have been taught, that is what every girl has grown up with, that is what every book and movie tries to sell you.  Until real life welcomes you with open arms. This is what I have learned: The wedding and...

The best part of getting married is growing your family! No, I do not mean having kids! I mean the fact that overnight you have a whole new family. I got engaged and married in less then a year! I lived in one country, my husband- to- be in another, and his family and the wedding in yet another. In all truth, I barely gave a thought to the fact that I am being adopted by a new "clan". It did not enter my "happily ever after" concept that I am now going to have to exist for the rest of my life sharing my sweetheart with those that have known him forever. The wedding was a dream and our "clans"got along beautifully, they do live in different countries after all! My mom and his mom became fast friends and had a good laugh or two at our account. The siblings shared a joke or two and many delicious meals (we love to eat). For both my husband and I the introduction to a new family was fantastic!  I am sorry to have to burst your bubble, but there will not be an...

As I have previously hinted at, marriage is a journey, shared by two, or so we all think. It's actually shared by a crowd! On the day I got married one piece of advise my mom gave me, was "its a good thing you will begin your marriage far away from your family and his family, you need time to figure out this marriage thing before everyone else gets involved." She was absolutely spot-on. I did start my marriage far away from both sets of families and it has remained that way for the duration. We  have made an attempt to figure out this "marriage thing", and I can honestly state, that we both do not have many answers, or a formula, or a magic potion to impart. The more married I stay the less I know about what works and what doesn't. All I know for sure, is that all the preconceived notions I had of marriage are all wrong, all the do's and dont's I had are all gone, all the beliefs of love and passion are different, and all the needs and wants are...

F amilies that stay to together happily has become a rare phenomena of our modern life.  I am someone that believes families that play together stay together. Today all family members are over scheduled, over tired, and over stretched. We have all forgotten what it means to just stop and BE rather then DO. When was the last time any of us talked to our family members with complete attention, with no interruptions or other demands pulling at us? When was the last time any of us shared a meal with our family without thinking of the next thing that needs to be done? When was the last time any of us enjoyed a leisurely day with our family without needing to be somewhere or needing to get chores done? People around me always mention that I am a marriage and family encourager, so I thought why not share what life has taught me as a wife and mom of two. Yes, I am all for mom and dad staying together and growing a family from the roots up. I am also for mom and dad being content in the l...

If you have never moved house or country in your married life, then you are a lucky one! We are an expat married couple, we do not live in our country of birth. We have had to move around a few times. Some moves were local and some moves intentional. It makes your relationship very interesting and exciting to move places! There is so much to do before you get the moving company and get packing. You need to scout the new country , find a new house, sort through years of junk you have collected, and of course actually get rid of said junk. Herein lies one of our major differences, my dear partner does not like to part with any items. We have moved boxes of "stuff" all over the world and we still have them in our home! What are they you make ask? I wish I could answer that! All I know is they have not been opened in at least 8 years. At the beginning of my married life, (going back to my previous blog entry), I  was all about pleasing my partner. The first move came along wh...